What was your personal situation before resorting to an assisted reproduction treatment?
I never felt like being a mother before I was 36-37 years old. I just felt it wasn't the right time. I thought I had to do a lot of things first. Around the age of 38 I began to feel the desire to be a mother and in a very short time it became the most important goal of my life.
With my last partner, we tried to have a child in a natural way, but after about 8 months there were still no results, so I started to think about doing a treatment. My partner was younger and was in favour of waiting and trying naturally, but I was already 39 years old and knew that time was playing against us. As a result, the arguments and disagreements with my partner continued until the relationship ended.
How did you feel when you found out the pregnancy didn't come?
Frustration. A lot! And anger, sadness, hopelessness, envy, pain... A very bitter inner pain that intensified every time I ran into a pregnant woman or learned of a new pregnancy. Throughout the 7 treatments I went through, that rage and sadness intensified.
What aspects of your life were affected by this?
All of them: my job, my family, my relationships. To make matters worse, I worked in an assisted reproduction clinic as a patient care coordinator and was in constant contact with women who wanted to get pregnant 8 hours a day. I could cry on the phone when a patient didn't get pregnant after several attempts because I knew firsthand all the suffering that was behind there.
On the other hand, the idea of having a child as a couple was fading away as I felt that "I didn't have time" to meet someone new and undertake this project together.
What were your personal circumstances like at that time?
When the relationship with my last partner ended, my dream of being a mother as a couple came to an end. I never wanted to be a single mother, but I didn't have "fertile time" to meet a new partner and undertake that important project together. I was about to turn 39 and there was no time to lose. That's when I decided that I would pursue my dream of being a mother, even if it was alone.
What was your diagnosis and how did you get it?
My indicators of ovarian reserve were not entirely bad, and my age was advanced but not limited so the doctors at the clinic where I worked proposed that I try an IVF with my own eggs and donor sperm.
I performed 4 IVFs with donor sperm and their respective transfers (6 in total). All failed. Then I changed clinic to Barcelona IVF and there I did the Embryo Donation, which was successful at the first time!
When you were proposed the assisted reproduction treatment, what sensations did you have? How was the treatment finally?
I knew about the existence of egg donation, but the very idea of having to resort to that option one day if everything else failed seemed terrible to me. It's one of those things that you think will never happen to you, that happens to others. I never thought I would resort to egg donation to have a child.
I felt sad and disoriented... Forced to choose between what I thought was bad (not having children with my own eggs) and the worst: never having children. My sadness caused me to end up taking a leave of absence from work. During these three months I thought a lot about it and little by little the idea of treatment with donor eggs matured. Little by little I began to see egg donation as a unique opportunity offered to me by science.
What was your greatest support during the process?
I always had support from my family and my mother, especially. Unlike me, she always saw from the beginning a great opportunity in the fact that I could turn to a donor. She used to ask me: What does it matter if he or she has our genes or not? Do you think we will love him less because of that? Do you think you will love him less? Apart from my mother and my friends, the possibility of talking to a psychologist helped me a lot to get my priorities in order.
What did you feel when you saw that the treatment had worked?
I couldn't believe it! It was wonderful. I stood there looking at the pregnancy test and there was a brutal mix of sensations! The first thing I felt was not joy but rather a feeling of relief, of indescribable peace... I felt relieved of everything! I could finally rest! To rest from a physical and above all psychological exhausting struggle. At last there was no more anger, no more helplessness, no more envy, no more grief, no more despair... Because my dream (my son) was on its way.
Would you like to send a message to other women or couples who are considering ART?
After my long experience I feel that I would like to convey several messages to them, but I think that I am left with one above all: if you want to be a mother, don't give up your dream because you don't have a partner. Motherhood as a couple is surely wonderful but motherhood as a single parent is not just a B option: it is the most overwhelming experience of love you will ever have in your life and you will NEVER, NEVER, regret it!
How has your experience been with the clinic and the Barcelona IVF team?
After 6 failed transfers in the clinic where I worked, my morale was at a low point and I decided to change clinic and go to Barcelona IVF. Working in the field, I had received very good references about this clinic. I knew that they had a great team of doctors and biologists and above all that the laboratory was very good and gave very encouraging success rates.
What convinced me the most was that Dr. Colodrón, that I had met in the past, was working there. I knew she was a great professional and that her success rates in treatments were very high.
Since I did not have a partner to provide the sperm, Dr. Colodrón suggested the Embryo Donation (transfer with already created embryos from an egg donor and a sperm donor) and it seemed to me the best option in my circumstances. The embryos offered are all frozen on day 5 and that gave me even more confidence in my chances of success. The preparation was simple and quick, and the treatment worked at first!